Our Party
The Colonel (Nicole)
Descended into an open fissure in the earth and found incredible treasure from long ago. An angel, dressed all in white and with a white beard + kindly smile, told our hero he was the reincarnation of an ancient force for good, and was on this earth to reestablish the Kingdom of Fried Chicken and find the lost 11 secret herbs and spices.
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| Some sort of powerful angel/force for good in this world |
The HEEEAAAAAPPPPPP. Wrestler extraordinaire, excels at fixing machines and reactivating lost technology. Arc Welds every scrap of metal he can find to his already prodigious armor. Huge Stop Sign on his chest, mailbox flaps in the front and back as his armor is literally impossible to get out of without cracking open like a shell. Smells bad, presumably.
DJ Sickly (James)
Ear piece and personal amplifier, plus terrifying consumption and constant coughing of blood. (5 CON lol) Quick with a joke or to light up a smoke (really shouldnt be smoking). From the industrial grunge scene in Denethix, and very trusting of Giant Worms.
The party came to Terrywhile, a small farming town in southwest of the capital city. They arrived with the Heap pulling their food truck rickshaw style. The food truck is their base of operations but gas is way too valuable when there is plenty of fried chicken to fuel the Heap.
They found the town abandoned, with a hastily constructed and abandoned barricade up north, an ominous bird mask wearing merchant and wild screams coming from the local house of healing.
They checked out the healer's first, and found him pouring RoundUp into open wounds on a restrained man's chest as bursts of vegetation exploded out from his nostrils, wounds and mouth. The part decided to help, and as treatment went on, the strands of plant matter eeked out long enough strands to form into a face of a woman, all in green. She spoke to the party and DJ Sickly tried to read her lips (no actual sound was made as no air is being forced through the wind pipe). The Heap took a frying pan and waves it to get air moving. Between the two of them they realized she was repeating the phrase "Survive and Thrive" before wilting away.
The party learned that the northern fields had been taken over by a virulent strain of corn, and that the townsfolk there had gone mad. The Bird Masked man told them of the mystical Cornicorn, and said he would pay handsomely for the corn horn. The party struck a deal to provide the horn in exchange for a limitless supply of biodiesel ethanol for their truck. They also said they would try to stop the corn infestation.
Heading north through the fields, they came to the Corn Maize and confronted some Coblins, disgusting Goblin/Corn hybrids. After chasing one into a dead end, the walls came alive once more, with the same woman from before's face emerging all over the corn walls in every available inch. SURVIVE AND THRIVE
The party saved some captives from being eaten by Giant Insects that seem to have grown with the corn. A giant corn ear emerging from the ground and prisoners left to die on it, exposed to the ravenous and huge insects.
They then found a woman held aloft by the corn, and who seemed to be an avatar for it. Same woman from the faces. She told them that some demon had been disturbed by the farming community after they found the demon's lair below a field. The demon wanted only the strongest to survive and had ground all different manner of seeds together and enchanted them with dark magic. Thus the corn.
The party then found a huge, super disturbing Giant Worm named Germander. They read cheap romance novels to him and befriended him, even though he had a terrifying and disturbing voice. DJ Sickly got in his mouth and it all worked out fine. The worm dug down to the lair of the demon and allowed the party to follow, with the Heap using an arc welder to cut his way through the steel exterior of the lair.
There they found a small room with two beds and perfectly folded origami flowers with love poetry on them. It was clear from the content of the room that a man and a woman lived here long ago. The party bushwacked through some vines, found a secret spice in the kitchen from hundred of years ago (coriander, now extinct aboveground) and prepared to enter the "AI Server Room."
The party shamelessly used the love poetry and crooning love of the obviously love sick AI to play with his emotions and get him on their side. They also restarted the AI a few times when it wasn't going so well, and once when it was going well by accident.
They recieved new species of insects and new seeds of other plants that would bring balance to the corn. They left through the spiral staircase in the ceiling and reemerged into the bright sun, ready to fight,
And fight they did, against a huge Mech made out of living corn stalks, a corn ghost and a sentient McDonald's ordering screen that had been taken over by a subroutine of the AI from below. The "good" AI helped them deal with that one and the Corn Mech did some serious damage before the party seemed ready to win the day.
Then, suddenly, a hush fell on the corn field. A beautiful Cornicorn, with its beautiful yellow hair, green skin and corn horn peeked out of the stalks. DJ Sickly reached his hand out tenderly. However, a random die roll determined that he was not a "corn virgin," as he had eaten corn before. He was spurned. Then the Heap jumped in, body slammed the Cornicorn and beat it to death with his wrenches. The party got a secret herb, the cornicorn horn, and all the biodiesel they needed by planting beans and squash and using natural pest control. Well done!
6 that also serves
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