Inspired by my last game session, where we summoned a wizard from a summoning portal we found, and our rogue and barbarian had readied actions to attack. My character started to negotiate, the wizard started casting an unknown spell, and he took two crits to the dome and was killed. As our DM pointed out, it was inside his own home and we didn't know that he was going to attack us. We would be convicted in a court of law for sure.
Let me get this out of the way first: there is no surefire way to keep your NPCs alive. The players are a bunch of filthy murderhobos and they'll kill anything you put in your campaign, us especially. Dms that try to save favorite NPCs and deny player agency suck, and our DM called it straight, which feels great as a player. However, there are ways I've noticed to give your NPCs a fighting chance to at least have a conversation with your players.
I'm thinking about this in the context of a megadungeon. Really the best way to have NPCs stay alive is to encounter them in a social context where violence is not everyone's first choice. They still might get iced, but I've had good luck with my PCs not killing annoying princes and vain innkeepers because they're in a social setting and don't want to be outlaws or w/e. But what if you're in a megadungeon and you want them to interact with all your cool NPCs?
The main takeaway is this: Your NPCs need to be insanely good at communicating an unambiguous non-threatening stance. So insanely good at being non-threatening that it's unrealistic.
There are two things working against your NPCs that require them to be this unrealistic standard of non-threateningness.
1. PCs respond to any threat to their control disproportionally, and with violence. If I had to guess, I would say that wizard was probably casting Greater Invisibility (I didn't know what he was casting in the moment, but we found his spellbook after) That's showing agency, but it also decreases the PCs ability to control the situation. Our rogue didn't like that, so he got iced. Maybe that's cool! That's likely how it would go down in the 'real world'. People get shot all the time just for running away from the police, or reaching into their pockets. I've had other PCs just kill prisoners for trying to wriggle free of their bonds (Of course, PCs would never expect to get killed just for trying to escape in situations where they are prisoners). It's not fair, in fact, its pretty fucked up. But I don't see it changing (mainly for reason #2 below).
Is there a way that in the logic of the game that would allow the NPC not to take an action that might decrease control? Maybe he is so confident in himself that he assumes no one would dare touch him, so he doesn't feel the need (I used this one all the time in Red and Pleasant Land, it's nice because they can still be arrogant and annoying, also see The Scorpion King in Maze of the Blue Medusa). Maybe he's scared and doesn't want to get killed, so he negotiates. Maybe he is drunk and thinks the PCs are his long lost friends. Maybe he's just skilled at de-escalation tactics. Someone needs to be, and it's sure not going to be the PCs.
2. If one guy is bloodthirsty, we're all bloodthirsty. It only takes one PC to initiate combat, and no matter how good they are, my other PCs are never going to stand around and watch their friend fight solo. For one, its boring. For two, there is a strong sense of group solidarity build around combat in DnD. To me it just feels wrong to leave my man out to dry, so I'll always back them up in a fight and then discuss it afterward. So the threat of combat increases with the number and bloodthirstyness of your players. In this case it only took two hits so the point was moot, but I've noticed this in other situations.
I always think of the Boye Repairtee (or however its spelled) from Maze of the Blue Medusa. They start off every encounter with the PCs by offering cigs and rum. I'll bet in almost every game, those guys at least have a short conversation with the PCs, because they are super good at getting the convo off on the right foot. They show their intentions clearly, they offer something of value to get the PCs on their side, and they have a mystery that is intriguing.
I would say any of the following actions will increase your NPCs chance of survival (assuming they are in a tough spot and would probably be killed. A demon lord or drow would probably never do this stuff) I'm not saying all NPCs need to be surrender monkeys, just the ones you'd like to have chat with the PCs for a min.
1. Put their hands up
2. Offer food/drink/drugs
3. They have a clear benefit to the PCs
4. They surrender/drop weapons (doesn't work for goblins usually)
5. They have a social connection to one of the PCs. "Why Faeno is that you? I knew your father etc." They could even be lying.
6. Don't take any action that could be seen as threatening
7. They are visibly sick/weak/pathetic
8. They are visibly awesome/rich/cool
9. They greet the PCs "Why hello there! Why have you summoned me?"
There are probably a million other ones. The main point is, PCs are murderhobos, but usually they won't kill Ghandi.
Monday, January 28, 2019
Sunday, January 27, 2019
He is a captive? of Duke Von Skorn, Spymaster to the Regent of Vornheim. Fortune teller and soothsayer, he is responsible for all the Duke's successes in the brutal world of high-level political intrigue. Wildly unstable, he threatens all who enter his tower, wildly gesturing and threatening with his anachronistic gun (+7 to hit, 8d8 damage, ignores AC from armor unless its Kevlar). The Duke sends servants to collect advice in exchange for food and high powered telescopes, usually, 1/3 servants are summarily shot.
His predictions are completely accurate if strangely phrased. But he's such a weirdo and so threatening that the PCs will probably kill him. He has a high pitched, nasally voice and likes to float near the PCs heads and put his gun to their temples. If not attacked he will read their fortunes and demand food. He will not shoot first.
Sunday, January 20, 2019
Monday, January 7, 2019
Wednesday, January 2, 2019
Play Report: The Kingdom of Fried Chicken
Had two weeks of downtime from our usual game and decided to run a one-off in the Anomalous Subsurface Environment world. (Post-apocalyptic Americana, obviously Fallout inspired but with more elves)
Our Party
The Colonel (Nicole)
Descended into an open fissure in the earth and found incredible treasure from long ago. An angel, dressed all in white and with a white beard + kindly smile, told our hero he was the reincarnation of an ancient force for good, and was on this earth to reestablish the Kingdom of Fried Chicken and find the lost 11 secret herbs and spices.
The Heap (Mike)
The HEEEAAAAAPPPPPP. Wrestler extraordinaire, excels at fixing machines and reactivating lost technology. Arc Welds every scrap of metal he can find to his already prodigious armor. Huge Stop Sign on his chest, mailbox flaps in the front and back as his armor is literally impossible to get out of without cracking open like a shell. Smells bad, presumably.
DJ Sickly (James)
Ear piece and personal amplifier, plus terrifying consumption and constant coughing of blood. (5 CON lol) Quick with a joke or to light up a smoke (really shouldnt be smoking). From the industrial grunge scene in Denethix, and very trusting of Giant Worms.
The party came to Terrywhile, a small farming town in southwest of the capital city. They arrived with the Heap pulling their food truck rickshaw style. The food truck is their base of operations but gas is way too valuable when there is plenty of fried chicken to fuel the Heap.
They found the town abandoned, with a hastily constructed and abandoned barricade up north, an ominous bird mask wearing merchant and wild screams coming from the local house of healing.
They checked out the healer's first, and found him pouring RoundUp into open wounds on a restrained man's chest as bursts of vegetation exploded out from his nostrils, wounds and mouth. The part decided to help, and as treatment went on, the strands of plant matter eeked out long enough strands to form into a face of a woman, all in green. She spoke to the party and DJ Sickly tried to read her lips (no actual sound was made as no air is being forced through the wind pipe). The Heap took a frying pan and waves it to get air moving. Between the two of them they realized she was repeating the phrase "Survive and Thrive" before wilting away.
The party learned that the northern fields had been taken over by a virulent strain of corn, and that the townsfolk there had gone mad. The Bird Masked man told them of the mystical Cornicorn, and said he would pay handsomely for the corn horn. The party struck a deal to provide the horn in exchange for a limitless supply of biodiesel ethanol for their truck. They also said they would try to stop the corn infestation.
Heading north through the fields, they came to the Corn Maize and confronted some Coblins, disgusting Goblin/Corn hybrids. After chasing one into a dead end, the walls came alive once more, with the same woman from before's face emerging all over the corn walls in every available inch. SURVIVE AND THRIVE
The party saved some captives from being eaten by Giant Insects that seem to have grown with the corn. A giant corn ear emerging from the ground and prisoners left to die on it, exposed to the ravenous and huge insects.
They then found a woman held aloft by the corn, and who seemed to be an avatar for it. Same woman from the faces. She told them that some demon had been disturbed by the farming community after they found the demon's lair below a field. The demon wanted only the strongest to survive and had ground all different manner of seeds together and enchanted them with dark magic. Thus the corn.
The party then found a huge, super disturbing Giant Worm named Germander. They read cheap romance novels to him and befriended him, even though he had a terrifying and disturbing voice. DJ Sickly got in his mouth and it all worked out fine. The worm dug down to the lair of the demon and allowed the party to follow, with the Heap using an arc welder to cut his way through the steel exterior of the lair.
There they found a small room with two beds and perfectly folded origami flowers with love poetry on them. It was clear from the content of the room that a man and a woman lived here long ago. The party bushwacked through some vines, found a secret spice in the kitchen from hundred of years ago (coriander, now extinct aboveground) and prepared to enter the "AI Server Room."
The party shamelessly used the love poetry and crooning love of the obviously love sick AI to play with his emotions and get him on their side. They also restarted the AI a few times when it wasn't going so well, and once when it was going well by accident.
They recieved new species of insects and new seeds of other plants that would bring balance to the corn. They left through the spiral staircase in the ceiling and reemerged into the bright sun, ready to fight,
And fight they did, against a huge Mech made out of living corn stalks, a corn ghost and a sentient McDonald's ordering screen that had been taken over by a subroutine of the AI from below. The "good" AI helped them deal with that one and the Corn Mech did some serious damage before the party seemed ready to win the day.
Then, suddenly, a hush fell on the corn field. A beautiful Cornicorn, with its beautiful yellow hair, green skin and corn horn peeked out of the stalks. DJ Sickly reached his hand out tenderly. However, a random die roll determined that he was not a "corn virgin," as he had eaten corn before. He was spurned. Then the Heap jumped in, body slammed the Cornicorn and beat it to death with his wrenches. The party got a secret herb, the cornicorn horn, and all the biodiesel they needed by planting beans and squash and using natural pest control. Well done!
6 that also serves
Our Party
The Colonel (Nicole)
Descended into an open fissure in the earth and found incredible treasure from long ago. An angel, dressed all in white and with a white beard + kindly smile, told our hero he was the reincarnation of an ancient force for good, and was on this earth to reestablish the Kingdom of Fried Chicken and find the lost 11 secret herbs and spices.
 |
| Some sort of powerful angel/force for good in this world |
The HEEEAAAAAPPPPPP. Wrestler extraordinaire, excels at fixing machines and reactivating lost technology. Arc Welds every scrap of metal he can find to his already prodigious armor. Huge Stop Sign on his chest, mailbox flaps in the front and back as his armor is literally impossible to get out of without cracking open like a shell. Smells bad, presumably.
DJ Sickly (James)
Ear piece and personal amplifier, plus terrifying consumption and constant coughing of blood. (5 CON lol) Quick with a joke or to light up a smoke (really shouldnt be smoking). From the industrial grunge scene in Denethix, and very trusting of Giant Worms.
The party came to Terrywhile, a small farming town in southwest of the capital city. They arrived with the Heap pulling their food truck rickshaw style. The food truck is their base of operations but gas is way too valuable when there is plenty of fried chicken to fuel the Heap.
They found the town abandoned, with a hastily constructed and abandoned barricade up north, an ominous bird mask wearing merchant and wild screams coming from the local house of healing.
They checked out the healer's first, and found him pouring RoundUp into open wounds on a restrained man's chest as bursts of vegetation exploded out from his nostrils, wounds and mouth. The part decided to help, and as treatment went on, the strands of plant matter eeked out long enough strands to form into a face of a woman, all in green. She spoke to the party and DJ Sickly tried to read her lips (no actual sound was made as no air is being forced through the wind pipe). The Heap took a frying pan and waves it to get air moving. Between the two of them they realized she was repeating the phrase "Survive and Thrive" before wilting away.
The party learned that the northern fields had been taken over by a virulent strain of corn, and that the townsfolk there had gone mad. The Bird Masked man told them of the mystical Cornicorn, and said he would pay handsomely for the corn horn. The party struck a deal to provide the horn in exchange for a limitless supply of biodiesel ethanol for their truck. They also said they would try to stop the corn infestation.
Heading north through the fields, they came to the Corn Maize and confronted some Coblins, disgusting Goblin/Corn hybrids. After chasing one into a dead end, the walls came alive once more, with the same woman from before's face emerging all over the corn walls in every available inch. SURVIVE AND THRIVE
The party saved some captives from being eaten by Giant Insects that seem to have grown with the corn. A giant corn ear emerging from the ground and prisoners left to die on it, exposed to the ravenous and huge insects.
They then found a woman held aloft by the corn, and who seemed to be an avatar for it. Same woman from the faces. She told them that some demon had been disturbed by the farming community after they found the demon's lair below a field. The demon wanted only the strongest to survive and had ground all different manner of seeds together and enchanted them with dark magic. Thus the corn.
The party then found a huge, super disturbing Giant Worm named Germander. They read cheap romance novels to him and befriended him, even though he had a terrifying and disturbing voice. DJ Sickly got in his mouth and it all worked out fine. The worm dug down to the lair of the demon and allowed the party to follow, with the Heap using an arc welder to cut his way through the steel exterior of the lair.
There they found a small room with two beds and perfectly folded origami flowers with love poetry on them. It was clear from the content of the room that a man and a woman lived here long ago. The party bushwacked through some vines, found a secret spice in the kitchen from hundred of years ago (coriander, now extinct aboveground) and prepared to enter the "AI Server Room."
The party shamelessly used the love poetry and crooning love of the obviously love sick AI to play with his emotions and get him on their side. They also restarted the AI a few times when it wasn't going so well, and once when it was going well by accident.
They recieved new species of insects and new seeds of other plants that would bring balance to the corn. They left through the spiral staircase in the ceiling and reemerged into the bright sun, ready to fight,
And fight they did, against a huge Mech made out of living corn stalks, a corn ghost and a sentient McDonald's ordering screen that had been taken over by a subroutine of the AI from below. The "good" AI helped them deal with that one and the Corn Mech did some serious damage before the party seemed ready to win the day.
Then, suddenly, a hush fell on the corn field. A beautiful Cornicorn, with its beautiful yellow hair, green skin and corn horn peeked out of the stalks. DJ Sickly reached his hand out tenderly. However, a random die roll determined that he was not a "corn virgin," as he had eaten corn before. He was spurned. Then the Heap jumped in, body slammed the Cornicorn and beat it to death with his wrenches. The party got a secret herb, the cornicorn horn, and all the biodiesel they needed by planting beans and squash and using natural pest control. Well done!
6 that also serves
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